


don't delete the kisses

by angelic_angel



Series: idiots in love (and friends) [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Decisions, Drinking, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Huang Ren Jun & Na Jaemin Are Best Friends, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non-Linear Narrative, Slow Burn, Swearing, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:09:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29808906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelic_angel/pseuds/angelic_angel
Summary: jaemin thinks love is easy.jisung thinks british boy bands are pretty neat.one of them is proved wrong.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Na Jaemin/Park Jisung
Series: idiots in love (and friends) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2118156
Kudos: 18





	don't delete the kisses

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to part two of the idiots in love series!!! 
> 
> this fic will focus mainly on jaemin’s storyline which was hinted at in part one. i would quickly like to add that, even though this is not a noren-focused fic, both renjun and jeno will be making notable appearances throughout - i have not abandoned them since shyhmf nor do i plan to. 
> 
> for those of you that haven't read part one of this series, it would probably be a good idea to do so if only to have a better understanding of the characters, background info etc. as this is a sequel of sorts. 
> 
> thank you so much for all of the support on the previous fic! i hope you enjoy this one just as much :)
> 
> (fic and chapter titles from 'don't delete the kisses' by wolf alice)

Jaemin stood with his hand on the door handle for a moment too long, staring at the tense curl of his fingers through a veil of guilt and confusion. Scorching pain twisted in his head, pulsing like electricity through a wire, and he had to swallow down the bile rising in his throat. 

Renjun would be so disappointed if he knew. He would be so disappointed, but he wouldn't yell at Jaemin, wouldn't get angry, and that was what made this all the worse. An angry Renjun, Jaemin could deal with. An angry Renjun would be justified at least. A disappointed Renjun, however… 

Glancing at the watch wrapped around his wrist, Jaemin watched the long arm spin around the clock face once. Twice. Three times. If he strained his ears he could just make out the gentle tick-tick-ticking of the cogs inside, forcing the seconds to pass until Jaemin realised he had been standing outside his front door for five whole minutes. 

“Jaemin?”

The familiar voice punched a defeated sigh from his lungs. With all the speed of a slithering snail, Jaemin turned away from the door to face Jisung, who hovered in front of his own door with a curious frown. 

“Morning,” Jaemin greeted, suddenly very aware of his current state of disarray. The hair at the back of his head stuck out awkwardly, yesterday’s clothes hung creased and dishevelled on his body, and a constellation of red marks peppered the skin of his neck, just visible above the neck of his shirt. 

“Morning,” Jisung replied, a hollow echo. His skin looked pale and tired against the horrible yellow of his convenience store uniform, and a deep set ache lodged itself in Jaemin’s heart. 

“Your shift just finished?” he asked, nails digging into his palms with how tightly he clenched his fists. 

Jisung’s entire body seemed to droop like the long branches of a willow. 

“Yeah,” he croaked, the sound barely audible as it travelled the space between them. It brought with it a silent question, one Jaemin didn’t want to answer.  _ Where have you been? _ Jisung’s eyes begged. Jaemin pretended not to notice, swallowing down a wave of nausea as he gripped the door handle tighter. The skin of his palm prickled with pain, his fingernails ripping tiny scratches he knew would soon burst with blood.

“You should get some sleep,” Jaemin said, a ghost of a whisper. Everything hurt. His legs, his arms, his bones. His heart. 

“You, uh, you too,” Jisung mumbled, only a decibel louder than the car horn beeping out in the street. 

Jaemin couldn't bring himself to say goodbye, only nodding wordlessly before punching in the code. The door unlocked with a resounding beep, seeming more like a scream in the tense silence filling the hallway. Pushing down on the handle, the door hinges let out a grinding screech. Jisung didn’t try to say anything else, watching silently as Jaemin stepped over the threshold before the door slammed shut behind him. 

Inside his apartment, the silence grew suffocating, wrapping around Jaemin’s lungs like a boa constrictor crushing its prey. The memory of texting Renjun the night before was fleeting, sandwiched in between a few games of Overwatch and drunkenly falling into a bed that wasn’t his own.

He shouldn’t have stayed out. He should’ve convinced Renjun to go to Jeno’s instead. Hell, Jaemin would’ve probably endured the muffled giggles and moans floating down the hallway if it meant he could have avoided this. 

The apartment felt strangely like a ghost town, little whispers of life scattered around. The curtains were drawn open, like they hadn’t been touched the night before, fluttering in the early morning breeze drifting through the open window. A half empty glass of wine sat on the coffee table next to a mostly full bottle of beer, and the potted plant beside the floor lamp was surrounded by specks of soil, its leaves slightly askew. 

After kicking off his shoes, Jaemin wandered down the hallway to Renjun’s room. He pressed his ear up against the door, but not a single sound travelled through the wood. Renjun was either asleep, possibly with Jeno in his bed, or they had ended up deciding to spend the night at the latter’s apartment instead. Throwing all caution to the wind, Jaemin pressed down on the door handle and peeked his head through, only to be faced with the sight of Renjun and Jeno, both awake and both on the verge of indecent exposure. 

“Sorry, I thought you’d still be asleep,” Jaemin apologised meekly, although he couldn’t help but feel simultaneously proud and heartbroken when he noticed Renjun shuffle a little closer to Jeno, their fingertips overlapping on the yellow bed sheets. For the sake of protecting his friends’ modesty, Jaemin began to slink back out of the room, only to quickly peep back in again with his eyes trained on Renjun. 

“I told you the outfit would work,” Jaemin teased, although it felt a little more forced than his quips normally did. He only said it because it felt like a rite of passage for Renjun; that he should be called out for his midnight escapades. Not that Jaemin was one to talk. 

Before Renjun could even consider coming up with a spluttered, pink-cheeked retort, Jaemin removed himself from the situation completely and wandered back to his room for a much needed nap. 

Well, that was the plan, except he couldn’t sleep. No matter how forcefully he shut his eyes or how tightly he wrapped himself up like a blanket burrito, the weight of his eyelids remained the same. The white of Jaemin’s walls only grew brighter as the sun rose higher, and soon he could hear the quiet murmur of the tv and the gentle clinking of dishes floating into his room. Exhausted and very much sleep deprived, Jaemin sighed and rolled out of his bed, eyes drooping tiredly, but apparently not tiredly enough for him to drift off into a peaceful slumber. 

Renjun and Jeno sat on the sofa, knees touching, as they sipped from chipped mugs in front of the tv. More out of desperation than mischief, Jaemin leaned over and grabbed Renjun’s coffee right out of his hands, ignoring his friend’s squeak of protest as he took a generous gulp of the bitter liquid. 

“Sorry, needs must,” was Jaemin’s excuse, delivered with a too-wide grin and a wink. He left the couple to their drama in favour of showering off last night’s grime. 

The sight that met Jaemin in the bathroom mirror was expected, but that didn't make it any less shocking. Dark circles, bitten lips, ruffled hair - a very telling combination, particularly when paired with the blooming red marks on his skin. There was absolutely no way that Renjun and Jeno hadn't noticed, hadn't put two and two together. 

The same went for Jisung, too. 

Jaemin turned on the shower with a tired sniff, tearing his eyes away from his reflection lest he stare too long and regret last night’s decisions more than he already did. The water pressure in the apartment was horrendous, spitting out of the showerhead in infrequent spurts. As the room slowly began to fill with steam, Jaemin peeled the clothes from his body, dropping them to the floor in an ungraceful heap. 

He returned to his room to find an unread text awaiting him, the words weighing down the phone with the force of their subtlety. 

_ What should we tell Jun? _

Jaemin stared blankly at the question, mulling over his answer with a sour taste coating his tongue, a stark reminder of the half a dozen bottles of beer he’d foraged from Donghyuck’s fridge hours before. There were several alternative answers to such a question, yet Jaemin found that he didn’t like any of them, each and every one flashing warningly in his head like a red stop light. 

The brightest, most dangerous of them all ended up being the fuel to Jaemin’s fire, steering his thumbs as he tapped out a response. 

_ nothing _

Once everything was said and done, Jaemin dropped his phone onto his bed and disappeared into the bathroom to discreetly throw up. 


End file.
